Working with ADHD

Staying on track in the distraction zone

Working in an office, with internet access and a brain that is continually probing for data is a recipe for disaster.  Does any of this ring any bells with you?

I wake up early, with work on my mind.  Things I didn’t get round to doing yesterday, priorities, issues and deadlines.  I lie in bed and give myself a pep talk; “You’re going to do this, then this, then this…it’s going to be great!” – and all morning as I get ready to start the day, I’m thinking about how I’m going to  get in early and clear my desk (and mind) of all these things.

It starts well.  I go to work early so there are no distractions from those around me.  I get myself my cup of tea and I fill my water bottle.  Hydration is key.  I sit down and open my notebook.  TO DO TODAY I write at the top, in neat, capital lettering.  I then scribe my very detailed and completely manageable list of things that need done.  Unburdening these from my brain lets me relax a little.  The first part is done.  I have a LIST which means this is going to happen!

But then, creeping on the horizon of my mind, a thought sneaks past my guard…”I wonder what the weather is like this weekend?”…..

NO – stay on track!

But it only takes two minutes to click my weather website bookmark.  It won’t take long.  Oh, but it does.  The weather here is terrible.  Maybe I could do a day trip somewhere better?  I run through the list of town names within a reasonable drive.  What is reasonable?  Half an hour?  Three hours?  Well if it’s three hours, better make the most of it!  What nice places for lunch are there?  Is there anything on?  Perhaps I could stay over?  How much is a hotel?

Before I know it, I’m sending hotel options to my better half, explaining the benefits of booking early so we get a good deal.  Time has passed, I’ve achieved nothing.

STOP!  Get back to what you were doing!

I return to the list.  The first one is easy, I simply need to reply to an email.  I open up my email application.  I notice a new email, which seems urgent.  So I open it up and realise that I could deal with this first.  COULD, not SHOULD.  But I worry that I’ll forget to go back to it, as it’s not on the list.  So I deal with it.

It’s not going well.

My good intentions from the early hours when I was awoken with anxiety about getting things done have been lost.  It’s now halfway through the day and I’ve dealt with nothing on my list.  But I have done other things, mostly work related.  I’ve also got a mini-break organised for the weekend (mostly, haven’t actually committed, but I know exactly what I could do).  But it’s almost lunchtime.  No point starting anything new now.  Might as well check my personal emails, see if I’ve missed anything important.

My lunch hour comes and goes.  Halfway through scrolling down the best deals on Amazon for today, I am attacked by a surge of guilt and panic.  My hyperfocus is activated and I start smashing through my list.  It’s going so well, and I don’t notice the passage of time.  Two hours go by.  I’m in the zone.  And then CRASH.  Reality hits – I’ve got a meeting I can’t miss.  But the zone!  Once I leave, will I get back in?  I push the limit of the meeting starting.  I should’ve refilled my water bottle.  I should’ve nipped to the loo beforehand.  I defninitely should’ve eaten something.

The meeting lasts longer than advertised.  I’m starving.  I’m bursting on the loo.  And I have a headache because I haven’t drank any water for four hours.  I remedy these things quickly, knowing I’m doing “a good thing” for myself.

Once settled again, water bottle refilled, new cup of coffee, sandwiches consumed, I’m ready to get back in the zone.  But the zone doesn’t return.  And I’m feeling exhausted, frustrated and wracked with guilt.  I could push on, but tomorrow is a new day.  I tell myself that it’s ok to go home and start again.  Just get up early so you can get in and get ahead again.

But we all know what will happen tomorrow….

Is it a problem?

 For me, it’s not really.  Yes, it can lead to some stressful moments, or extra hours in the evening.  But it rarely causes me an issue.  Somehow, my brain lets me push on each task just enough so that at any given time, with time pressure and a looming deadline, I can get whatever I’m working on out the door.  I don’t always feel satisfied and if anyone watched the way I work I think they’d be worried, but it works for me.  So I’ll just leave it at that.