My boyfriend and I do everything together, and we love it. We gym, we pub, we drive, we eat. But one thing we don’t do together is get ready to leave the house. Somehow, he’s always ready. I don’t know if he plans ahead, doesn’t need much, or has some magical capability, but I am always last. Always. But he doesn’t mind. We’ve got a system.
He’ll say to me “fancy going for a drive?” and I know that if my answer’s yes, the next question he asks is “what do you still need to do?”….
I’ll genuinely answer him with a simple “not much, I’m pretty much ready” and then spend the next twenty minutes finding all the bits and pieces I need, changing my top 3 times, my trousers, my shoes, losing my phone, touching up my makeup and then remembering I need to find my water bottle because I’ve not drank enough today. And he’ll sit on the couch, watching TV or go and do some housework, because he knows the truth. I’m never as ready as I think I am.
He knows not to rush me or put pressure on because it’ll only slow the process down. He knows that if we’ve got a time limit, he has to ask the question well in advance. And that’s how we get out the house.
Here are a few hacks we use:
First of all – talk about it! If you’ve just started the relationship or recently moved in together, maybe this is a new side to you that he’s experiencing, and maybe you’re trying to mask it. Don’t! If it’s going to work, he needs to see you in all your beautiful chaos. Sure – there will be times when it’s stressful and maybe you’ll both get frustrated at each other, but if you can get it right 9 times out of 10, you’re onto a winner!
Make some easy habits of where things should be. We always leave our keys, sunglasses, hats, gloves, scarves in the same place. And if my boyfriend sees I’ve left something where it shouldn’t be, he moves it back. They sit on the table by the front door, visible and not hidden in a drawer.
If you’re like me, you’ll do things in a certain way – check clothes; do I feel good in them? Do I feel bad? Is it hot? Will this top make me sweaty? Will I be too cold? Is it going to rain? Then it’s check face and hair – am I happy with them? Do I need to straighten my hair? Touch up my makeup? Next it’s all the things I take with me – phone, keys, purse, coat, water. And if you both know this combination then your partner can help you by reassuring you that you’re making the right choice, or helping you find that hat, the only hat, that will go with the rest of your outfit…
If I say five minutes, he gives me twenty. It’s a classic case of time blindness. If you’re pushed for time, there’s not much you can do but maybe the tips above here will help just enough to avoid the panic of getting out! And yes there are occasional meltdowns – nobody gets it right every time – but since we started these habits, getting out the door and going for that drive happens more or less when we want it to!
If you know how that feels, drop a comment below. I’d love to hear about your stories of leaving the house. Forgetting where I left my sunglasses is the common game at the moment. Where did I last have them? When did I last have them? Did I not see them in the kitchen??