Unravelling the procrastination puzzle
Disclaimer: The following blog post is a humorous take on my personal struggle with ADHD, the very obstacle that prevented me from writing a blog post in the first place…
Today, we embark on a candid exploration into the labyrinth of my ADHD-infused mind, where the struggle to start writing this blog post has reached epic proportions. You see, as someone with ADHD, the ability to initiate a task as simple as writing a blog post is akin to discovering the hidden city of El Dorado. Oh, the countless dreams of sharing my thoughts and ideas with the world, held hostage by the mischievous symptoms of my brain. Yes, my friends, the procrastination monster has taken hold, and it seems that my symptoms are staging a grand parade, leaving me powerless to resist.
I should probably begin by brainstorming some captivating topics to write about, right? Well, the problem is that my brain seems to have its own agenda, effortlessly wandering through a delightful labyrinth of distractions. One moment, I’m scribbling potential blog post ideas; the next, I’m deep cleaning the rubber seals round every window in the house and mentally assessing the most efficient way to compartmentalise my sock drawer. It’s truly a phenomenon.
As I write these words, my ADHD symptoms are at an all-time worst. For reasons too long to touch on as a passing comment in this post, I’ve chosen not to take medication for my ADHD, and while I am comfortable with that decision for now, it also makes tasks like starting this blog post feel like scaling Mount Everest. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, each one demanding attention and pulling me in a million different directions. And none of which relate to writing this post.
The Procrastination Abyss:
Oh, Procrastination, how you taunt me… you whisper sweet temptations in my ear, enticing me to put off writing this blog post for just a little longer. It’s a battle of wills between my desire to write and my subconscious inclination to avoid the task at hand. The longer I procrastinate, the heavier the weight of guilt becomes. But boy oh boy is it fun to build an Etsy shop!
In the realm of ADHD, procrastination is a powerful adversary. It beckons us with the sweet promises of temporary relief, luring us into the comforting embrace of anything but the task at hand. From watching hours upon hours of ADHD reels, to decimating my wardrobe and filling six black bags with clothes to take to the charity shop, I find myself diving headfirst into the procrastination abyss, leaving my blog post neglected and forlorn.
ADHD has a way of making even the smallest tasks feel like an epic battle due to my interest-based nervous system. The war of wills between my desire to write and my brain’s resistance is relentless. My brain seeks high-stimulation situations, stronger incentives, and more immediate rewards, to trigger that quick and intense release of dopamine and with it comes the rush of motivation. Could I maybe even hit the jackpot? Hyperfocus? That would mean initiating… I try to summon the courage to begin, but my thoughts scatter like confetti in a gust of wind, and the battle rages on.
The Struggle to Initiate:
One of the hallmarks of ADHD is the difficulty in initiating tasks. The simple act of starting to write feels like trying to push a boulder uphill. It’s paradoxical, really – the more I avoid writing, the more my anxiety about not writing intensifies. Each passing day amplifies the pressure to begin, but it seems like a Herculean feat as I stare at the blank screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard, no words flowing. I am trapped in a vicious cycle, a dance of avoidance and anxiety, and writing a blog post feels like traversing the highest mountain with my feet tied together.
If there was only a way to initiate that first thread, the first sentence, even just the first word! I know, then, that the rest of the words would follow. That’s where AI and assistive technologies come in… along with some googling of “Is it cheating if I ask ChatGPT to help me write a blog post?” The classic perfectionism of ADHD – too scared to do anything wrong, worried about cheating on my own idea, feeling like a failure because I can’t bring my own thoughts and ambitions into fruition because the wiring in my brain stops me from initiating the task.
But, here we are, with some help from AI, we have the scribbles of a blog post. Ironically, about how impossible it’s been for me to write it.
Breaking the Cycle:
So, today, as I sit here, staring at the not-so blank screen anymore, I realize that the key to conquering this ordeal lies not in perfection but in vulnerability. In embracing the imperfections and acknowledging the struggle. The truth is, the fear of starting is often far worse than the act of starting itself. And so, as I put pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard), with a deep breath and an acceptance of my ADHD-tinted writing journey, I type these words and take one step closer to breaking the cycle of procrastination. I remind myself that progress, no matter how small, is still progress. And you never know, I might quite like this brain-dumping therapy and start doing it more often!
So, gang, as I bid you farewell, I leave you with this message – embrace your journey, ADHD or otherwise, with all its twists and turns. In the end, we’ll find our way, and I don’t just mean finally completing a blog post. Remember that we are not defined by our struggles, but by our determination to overcome them. Writing this blog post has been an arduous journey, but it’s also a testament to the strength and resilience that resides within us.
Even if it did take 3 weeks and a little help from ChatGPT to brainstorm… (: